R.I.P – Hjh. Salamah Lee

At 5.20am yesterday, my beloved paternal grandmother passed away in her home in Balingian.  My aunt and cousins were by her side.  I miss her dreadfully.  She was 89.

Again, I am not there for the funeral and kenduri.  I almost got on the express bus with my brother, bringing the kids along.  Then, after some thoughts and discussion with hubby and brother, it was best that I didn’t go.  *sigh*  They said taking the kids on the bus and being on it all through the night is just scary …

I am so disappointed in myself for not able to visit her the past three years.  I’m afraid I had a lot of excuses that made me rethink of my plans to visit her in Balingian:  work, small children, travel budget, no one accompanying me on the trip, etc.  I should be ashamed of myself.  Regretting now is useless …

She was a strong woman.  My grandfather passed away more than 35 years ago.  I think I was about 3 or 4 years old.  He suffered from TB.

She had a stroke some years ago.  With traditional massages and traditional herbal medication, she recovered slowly.  She could move and walked again.

Lately, she started to forget things … sometimes she would forget that she has showered, eaten, etc.

I hope I’m able to go back to Balingian soon for my aunt’s makan hol 100 days and my grandmother’s makan hol 20 days early next month.  Insya’allah … That’s my plan with my brother for the moment.

I pray to Allah that my grandmother and my aunt happy and well-taken care of with Him.

Al-fatihah …

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